Author’s Note: I recently decided to update this article (written in 2010) and move it to this website.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms: What is a ”Narcissist?”
In a sense, the purpose of this article is to supply an answer to this question that can assist in spiritual growth. But we may begin with a simple definition:
A narcissist is someone whose behaviors and attitudes are thoroughly seasoned with narcisisitic personality disorder symptoms to the point that he or she is often self-absorbed and self-centered in a way that exploits, ignores, or is blind to the needs of others.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms: More Than Just Being Selfish or Egotistical
We may add to this simple definition that a person who is narcissistic may not appear to be exploiting, using, or disregarding anyone. Scrooge in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is an obvious narcissist. But sometimes they appear very altruistic. The feeling of being used sometimes comes only after entering into a personal, family, or working relationship with the narcissist.
There are at least two outstanding characteristics of narcissistic men and women:
- Most of what they do and say is self-referential: the question, “What’s in this situation to advance my status?” is never far from their minds.
- They have a real deficiency of empathy. An educated, intelligent narcissist can write an eloquent essay (or sermon!) about love and empathy and knows how to display caring behavior. But a true narcissist is almost devoid of the inner experience empathy. If I am a narcissist, then what I feel and think is what matters. What you feel is not just unimportant, but unknowable. Your needs, fears, or suffering just don’t matter. I’m not cruel (sociopaths are cruel), it’s just that your well-being is not on my mental radar.
I call this personality syndrome ”Empathy Deficiency Disorder” or EDD (my name for it has not caught on). Obviously, narcissistic personality disorder symptoms encroach on the territory of Christian love as outlined in 1 Corinthians 13.
Adding Up Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms: A Mental Health Definition
Turning to the mental health definition, the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition) defines narcissistic personality disorder as follows:
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following narcissistic personality disorder symptoms:
- has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
- is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
- requires excessive admiration.
- has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
- is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
- lacks empathy; is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
- is often envious of others or believe that others are envious of him or her.
- shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
Narcisistic Personality Disorder Symptoms: Questions Needing Answers
- How does narcissism influence the leadership styles and relationships of Christian leaders? (if this question interests you, check out the article written by James Patrick and just published this week by Christianity Today.
- How does narcissism impact marriage and complicate marital counseling?
- Is there such a thing as healthy narcissism?
- Is narcissism an either-you-have-it-or-you-don’t sort of thing, or are narcissistic traits in all of us in varying degree?
- How does one practice Christ-centered love toward a narcissistic leader, spouse, child, friend, or relative?
- How can the average church goer recognize narcissistic personality disorder symptoms in pastors, elders, and other Christian leaders without becoming too quick to label someone?
- Do narcissistic personality disorder symptoms cluster into a predictable personality type, or is it simply concocted by modern psychology?
- How do narcissistic personality disorder symptoms relate to original sin?
- Can a man or a woman who is severely narcissistic become a true follower of Jesus?
- If so, what would this involve?
- If a believer encumbered with narcissistic personality disorder symptoms can see the problem, how can they grow in Christ?
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